Danny on Diaper Street
by delightisadream
Summary: *in-progress bc may be added to later* What did you expect? For Daniel Miller to wear actual underwear?


**The title says it all.**

* * *

It was growing harder for Maddie to keep a grip on Daniel's forearm as he started bouncing on the balls of his feet. They had just entered Miami's local drug store – what was so exciting?

Straight out of eighth grade, the summer before high school was sure to bring the new couple closer together. Maddie had had a thing for Daniel for quite some time, so once he got the hint…or after several members of his friend group flat-out told him she liked him…he wasted no time in asking her out. Prior to their status change, she knew him to be hunky. Working his way up to be captain of every team Iridium Middle School had. And, if she wasn't so self-absorbed herself, nothing short of a god.

But once they spent more time with each other, her opinion of him started to change. He showed a more… _geeky_ side of his personality, and while she still had the hots for him, they were noticeably cooler than before.

Right now, she assumed his weird side was breaking free. "Danny, why are we here?" she whined, but refrained from stomping her foot as it was hard enough to keep their arms linked.

His eyes skimmed the aisles quickly, trying to remember where his mother always took him. He scrunched his eyebrows and muttered, "Which way is left again…"

Maddie raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Daniel snapped out of his thoughts and turned to look down at his girlfriend for the first time since he had picked her up for a romantic stroll – to the drug store, apparently. "Oh, um, nothing. I just need to pick something up real quick."

She nodded, her facial features showing the annoyance her mouth wasn't conveying. Had he grumbled about her being dense? That's what it sounded like to her. Maddie forced a smile and said, "Okay. Hurry up." Her mouth shut tightly, keeping in all the complaints she wanted to scream out.

Either Daniel didn't notice her discomfort or didn't care, for he unhooked arms and grabbed her by the hand, making a beeline to the other end of the store. Her arm felt like it was being ripped out of its socket, he moved so fast.

"Eeeh! Daniel, stop!" she yelled, her anger spiking up.

Daniel rounded a corner and skidded to a stop.

Maddie's jaw almost dropped open once she saw what aisle they were in. Or what they were standing directly in front of. Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles. _Daniel was buying condoms._

She wasn't sure if she was supposed to be thrilled or terrified – they were only fourteen! – but either way her pulse accelerated. "Danny, are you going to…buy…those?"

But her boyfriend didn't hear her, per usual. His eyes were too busy searching the shelves. Maddie was about to repeat her question when he tore his hand out of hers and practically ran to the opposite end of the aisle – where the _diapers_ where. Not even adult diapers, like Depends; kid diapers. He took a package off the shelf and turned to grin at his girlfriend. "Okay, we can go," he said, a weight being lifted off his shoulders.

There might have been an appropriate way to respond to this, but if there was, Maddie didn't know it. She shrieked, yelled something about a manchild, and soon enough security was rushing to her aid. They didn't know what to do either, but Daniel did.

He was never taking her diaper-shopping with him again.

~ . ~

This was a regular outing, but was it just Emma or did Daniel seem a bit more excited?

Having been dating since early freshman year, Emma wasn't a stranger to going shopping with Daniel. It made her envision their future life together, so she quite enjoyed it. It was so cute how his face lit up whenever they made their way into a store. Normally, grocery shopping – which is what they usually did – could get kind of boring, but when they were together the outing was much more fun.

Emma didn't question the slight bounce in his step as he pushed a cart through the drug store closest to their two homes, believing his excitement to be because they were together. Things with Jax had messed their relationship up a bit, but now they were reunited and she took that to be why he was so thrilled to be there. She smiled up at him, but he wasn't paying attention.

Daniel didn't come to this drug store often. Despite it being closest to home, he had made a habit of riding Sheila – his bicycle – to the drug store near his mother's workplace, where he would try to offer her a ride home most of the time (which she would turn down in hopes of her husband returning, but Daniel didn't know that), so he wasn't so familiar with this one's layout.

A store clerk came out of a back room right beside them. Daniel leaned in front of the cart and asked in a hushed tone, "Do you know where the condoms are?"

The middle-aged lady smiled. No doubt was she thinking of something along the lines of "young love". Pointing to her left, she answered, "Aisle three. Might I suggest Durex Extra Sensitive Lubricated Latex?" She knew how important it was to be safe, and if this boy's lanky demeanor suggested anything, it was that they were young.

Daniel shook his head, oblivious to Emma's wide-eyed expression directed at him. "There'll be no need." And he took off, shoving the cart forward loudly. Emma towed behind him, her curiosity winning over her embarrassment.

Upon reaching aisle three, Emma's face resembled a tomato. Her boyfriend didn't even glance at her. "Danny, are you sure you want to do this?" She supposed it was alright for them to move up a step in their relationship. They'd been dating long enough, but was she actually prepared for this with him?

Daniel smiled down at her. "Yeah, of course."

Emma was about to smile back when he leaned to his left and snatched a package of children diapers off the shelf. Shoving it into the cart, he gripped the bar tightly and announced, "Okay, let's go."

She was stunned. For a moment she couldn't move, only hearing the clanging of Daniel hitting something with the cart. Maybe she'd stay at Jax's that night.

~ . ~

Mia reviewed the order of events in her head when she and Daniel entered Walmart.

1\. Arrive at a drug store.

While number one didn't compute, Mia kept on the lookout. She wasn't dense: Daniel's pants were bunching WAY more than usual.

2\. Be awkward.

He definitely had that down. She raised an eyebrow as he motioned her to a cart.

3\. Grab a shopping cart.

Number three didn't make much sense to her. If he came to a store to buy _one_ thing, then why grab a cart? Just to be safe, though, she kept right behind it and controlled where they went. She'd heard the stories – and the rumors, which weren't going away – and was determined to save her boyfriend from himself. He didn't complain, but he lagged behind a bit.

Mia started to grow angry. Did his ex-girlfriends lie to her about this? Oh, she was going to kick their asses for making her paranoid! Preoccupied by her thoughts, she didn't notice number four working its way out of her boyfriend's hair.

4\. Go to the condoms aisle.

Daniel had steered her through the girls' clothes – while keeping a safe distance away from the toddlers' area, as he was banned there – past the bathrooms, near the toys, and eventually swung right into the condoms aisle, all without her noticing. She looked mad, but he was unwavering. His mom told him he had to buy these until he was potty-trained! And who knew when that would happen, if EVER?

Mia had taken her phone out a few moments ago, ready to send Maddie, Emma, or both witches a strongly-worded text when she glanced up. Her face contorted as Daniel studied the condoms. Was he actually buying _protection_ this time? She didn't like this. No way would he know what to do!

Just as she opened her mouth to stop him, he leaned to the far right and snatched kid diapers off the shelf, popping it into the cart filled with some junk food they'd picked out for an upcoming movie night. One that was sure to be cancelled now, no doubt.

Mia shook her head when he smiled to himself. Pocketing her phone, she cleared her throat and asked, "Daniel?"

He glanced over at his girlfriend and smirked, looking proud. "Yeah, Mia?"

She cracked her knuckles and let out a laugh. "You're not right."

As his eyebrows shot up, she lunged forward, mentally tacking on another step to the list.

5\. Beat him up.

~ . ~

Andi was gonna LAY DOWN THE LAW.

Mia might have been fooled for a second, but she'd only known Daniel for a year – Andi had known him for _years._ While that thought alone was terrifying, she wouldn't be tricked. Diaper Danny wouldn't break habit.

Daniel clearly wasn't like most people, so Andi knew she'd have to manhandle him in a slightly _different_ manner. And if going shopping with him was what it would take, she'd do it. Besides, his three ex-girlfriends were paying her to stop him.

Unbeknownst to her, Daniel had his own game plan. He struggled to remember the one thing he'd tweaked from his regular plan as he guided her through Kmart.

Diego had finally sat Daniel down (on the floor, so they were eye-level) and told him of his diaper reputation. He honestly had no idea that some people – i.e. everyone – thought his buying children diapers was odd. How that skipped his mind, no one knew, but at least he had this knowledge now.

This time, to avoid yet another repeat of it, Daniel spent some time window-shopping. Andi made some wisecracks about it, to which he held in his tears. He and Janis weren't doing so well these days.

They headed to the same aisle he'd always gone to, stopping in front of the condoms. This was one part Andi had never understood. He always reached for diapers at the last second. Why would he stand in front of the condoms? "C'mon, Dan," she muttered from behind him, arms crossed.

He glanced back at her quickly, scratching his derriere once. He tried to read the condom brands. Ugh. Who was he kidding; he couldn't read. Pulling his hand away from his rear-end, he reached for some random container.

Andi's eyebrows shot up when she processed the fact that he was reaching for condoms. "Uh uh," she said, spinning on her heel. They weren't dating, and whatever was going through Daniel's mind right now didn't need to be made known her. She snatched some diapers off the opposite end of the shelf and held them up high. "You are a BIG BOY, Daniel!"

Daniel let go off the condoms he tried to pick up and squinted, failing to read the diapers' packaging. "Andi, those aren't the ones I usually get!" he whined, then grabbed his arms in fright. "I thought you didn't want to go diaper-shopping with me."

She looked up at the ceiling and clicked her tongue once. "Dude. These are _adult_ diapers. Maybe you embarrass people because you buy CHILDREN diapers!" She threw the package down, getting fired up. "YOU KNOW THE RUMORS EXIST, RIGHT?!"

Daniel's face contorted. _Oh gosh,_ Andi thought. _Is he going to cry?_ He sniffled, wiping his nose on his bare arm. "There's only one rumor, and it's true!"

Her eyes widened. "Daniel, no."

His tears threatened to spill. "I _did_ have to borrow Tommy's diaper once. But that was…" He trailed off, counting on his fingers. "Seven…ho-minutes ago…?"

Deciding not to mention the fact that there were many, _many_ rumors, and that not ONE of them were what he just confessed, Andi picked the adult diaper package back up and chucked it at Daniel's chest. Seeing him topple over, she felt accomplished. Nodding, she hollered, "MAN D IS _OUT!"_ and headed back to the front doors.

~ . ~

Christine checked her watch one more time. Daniel would be home in about fifteen minutes and due to his girl friends' (and his guy friends, but that's another story…) not wanting to buy diapers _with_ him, she had to do it by herself.

Knowing Daniel would throw a fit if he got home and she wasn't there, she speed walked across Dollar General. Some of the store clerks gave her sad smiles as she passed. They knew why she was buying the diapers. Christine sighed, keeping her head down as her feet took her to the all-too familiar aisle.

She wasn't sure when Daniel had started needing diapers – she knew there WAS a time he didn't need them, you know, after he hit age seven – but she didn't question it. He was a special boy, and if he needed diapers, then he needed diapers. _Adult_ diapers; Andi had informed her of the brand Daniel was getting for himself.

Lifting her head up, she noticed she had passed the aisle. With another glance at her watch, she picked up the pace and skidded to a stop in the correct aisle. Unlike Daniel, she stood right in front of the diapers to find the adult brand.

"Chris _tine?"_

She whipped her body to the side and could've burst into tears right there. "Rick," she breathed, eyes taking in her absentee husband.

Tommy had been gone for some time now, and she knew Rick was taking Melanie next. Mel was so thrilled she had started packing three weeks ago. But Robbie had taken on a father role, and was now calling his mother by her first name. In some ways, it was Rick's fault the Miller household was falling apart. In every other way, she totally got why he left.

"Christine, please tell me you're not…" Rick's eyes flitted back and forth from his wife to the diapers she stood in front of. "You told me you were going to stop."

She sighed, rubbing her face and uttering, "Rick, I know, but he needs these and–"

"Nope: that _thing_ does not need diapers!" He put his hands up in the air. "I'm out of here."

"Rick!"

The store clerks gave Rick the sad smiles as he left, too. But he returned them with a grin and thumbs up. He knew what he was doing was right. _Maybe I could grab Mel today…_

* * *

 **lovethatignites and I created 'Man D' – Andi – over the summer. XD**

 **This is the first time you hear of Rob calling Christine by her first name! If my sis and I get inspired, you'll definitely be seeing more of that in the future. ;)**

 **Review!**


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